This is a (useless) skill that few will ever be better at. Essentially, I’m a king at shoving (yes, that’s the right word) stuff into the cavity beneath the seat in my son’s pram. I’m all about finding the right-sized gap in this under-pram game and plugging it with tins of beans, baguettes, and shampoo.
Once again, this sounds as though it might be a useful skill to have mastered. Wrong. It’s totally useless. Yes, I manage to fit an ungodly amount of stuff under the buggy due to my mastery of pram Tetris, but whatever I put under the pram never survives the game intact. Bread is bent and broken, cakes are crushed and shampoo is shot from the bottle.
As a SAHD, one of the perennial issues to be faced is the arrival of the showboating parent. What do I mean by this? It’s simple really, a mum (or mainly) dad who arrives at the park with something to prove. They probably don’t get to do this type of activity as often as I do (lucky them) and are determined to make a show of how much fun their kid is having. By ‘making a show’ I mean making the other parents aware of just how amazing they are.
I used to pride myself on my… on my… on my… you know… my… collection of words… the ones I use.. when I… you know speak.
I’ve just Googled it.
I used to pride myself on my vocabulary.
Seriously I did.
It’s a bit of a stupid thing to pride yourself on, but to be honest it’s no worse than finding pleasure in the size of your My Little Pony collection or the spoiler on the back of your XR3i – I know full-grown adults who exemplify both of these… ‘things’.
But today, here I am, struggling to remember even the simplest of words. I mean, really simple, common, every-day, bits of communication have completely dropped out of my head.
TV presenter Declan Donnelly is, as always, right.
“No one tells you how hard being a parent is! We could have had a warning! It’s literally the hardest thing ever I’ve done, but I’m loving it!” he said recently when interviewed about his new parenting status.
Well said Dec! I totally agree! Parenting is the hardest thing I’ve ever done, too! Nothing even comes close. I’m serious. Brain surgery, fiddling with Rubik’s Cubes, enduring a minute in Gemma Collins’ presence – I’m sure they’re all a breeze compared to parenting.