pblogger – Page 2 – The Out of Depth Dad

Hell is other people’s kids…

Nobody, and I really mean NOBODY is interested in other people’s holiday snaps. They are the photographic equivalent of watching Songs Of Praise at your nan’s house or uncomfortable chats with taxi drivers – something to be endured and got over with, as quickly as is humanly possible.

I’m sorry to say it, but it’s the same with other people’s kids. We all love our own offspring, we find what they do absolutely fascinating. We talk about them endlessly. We rearrange our entire lives for them. Yet, despite all this, our kids are ONLY of interest to US. For everyone else they are (at best) dull and (at worst) actively irritating.

8 Things In Your Pockets That Prove You’re The Parent Of A Toddler!

A Musical Vehicle. Now I’m not suggesting that musical vehicles (like those created by Vtech) were first created by sadists in a diabolical plan to bring misery into the lives of already stressed-out parents. I’m not suggesting that at all. OK, I am suggesting that this might be one possibility.

Really, like, BIG!

The only logical conclusion that any sane (and stable) person could possibly come to, when faced with this behaviour, is the president isn’t really the president at all.
Don’t you see? Clearly the president is actually a 12-year-old boy, who wished to be ‘a grown-up’ using the Zoltar Fortune Teller Machine – previously seen in the hit 1988 Tom Hank’s movie ‘BIG’.

The Old Ones Aren’t The Best

I’ve started listening to The Archers. Let me say that again: I’VE STARTED LISTENING TO THE ARCHERS. It’s actually quite good.

Halloween used to be scary…

Back then Halloween was a genuinely scary experience, not because of ghosts and goblins. The fear came with the concern that, dressed like an idiot, you might bump into someone you knew!