10 Things I Didn’t Expect From Being A Parent

I Have Poo Tinnitus. It’s true. Everywhere I go I can smell a gentle whiff of poo. Where it’s coming from I can’t tell you. It may be that changing a multitude of nappies has made me especially sensitive to the aroma of fecal matter?

Carry on… laughing!

I do think that there is often a lot of over-thinking that takes place around babies. Parents are expected to give answers to questions that really don’t matter and act as if they do. 


It’s a strange thing feeding another human being. Even stranger when a fussy eater is feeding their non-fussy eater child. I spend long periods of time faking smiles and satisfied noises about food I wouldn’t dream of eating myself. 

If you can’t say anything nice…

It’s these people, and their blissful ignorance, that contemporary parents must learn to navigate around. Like hidden rocks among the flotsam and jetsam of parenting – they must be spotted and avoided if possible.

Godzilla Attacks & other Stay ‘n’ Play lessons…

Look, I’m no newbie when it comes to taking Sam to play environments. I’m the survivor of several Soft Play campaigns. I’ve been to hell, I know what it’s like.