The Wall

It was going to happen at some point.

There was an inevitability about it, like death, taxes or a Davina McCall workout video in January. At some point I was going to hit ‘The Wall’.

Well mark it in your diary, today was that day.

What am I on about?

‘The Wall’ is the point in which Marathon runners feel they can’t go on. They feel like there is a literal impediment stopping them from continuing. To get scientific for a moment, ‘The Wall’ is when an athlete becomes hypoglycemic – they literally have no energy left. As an insulin dependent diabetic myself I understand all about ‘hypo’s as they’re known. Ironically I had one today, but that’s another matter – several Jelly Babies followed by beans on toast (the glamour) sorted me out.

Anyway, back to the case in point. When you hit ‘The Wall’ you just can’t continue, you can’t imagine continuing without some extra energy. You’re spent, running on empty. In parenting terms that’s what happened to me today.

Sam is a trooper, let me say that from the outset. He’s still, on the whole, a very smiley baby. He is, however, currently suffering from conjunctivitis, a viral infection (yes, another one) and major teething. Combined these factors mean that sleeping is a little bit like Robbie Williams having a career in the US – it’s a nice idea, but it was never really going to happen.

In a foggy haze of little or no sleep, Sam’s mum and I are plodding forward as zombie dispensers of Calpol. For the record, Sam REALLY doesn’t like Calpol. I can’t understand it. As a kid, I have clear memories of feigning illness just to get some Calpol. I always felt it would make a great mixer “A double vodka and Calpol please!” – I’m joking, don’t do that!

Anyway,today, there was a 10 minute window where I sat down, next to a bawling, snotty Sam and wondered where… on Earth… I was going to get the energy to continue from. Every sinew of my body was crying out for sleep.

I knew parenthood was going to be tough. I had no illusions about that, but come on guys, seriously? How exactly has this species survived for so long with babies that are SO high maintenance?

I felt sorry for myself for 10 minutes, with Pink Floyd’s ‘The Wall’ swirling inside my head. It was at that point that Sam’s mum entered the room. If I was tired then I know that she was T-I-R-E-D! At that point, like a Marathon runner who’s just knocked back some Lucozade (also useful for us diabetic types) I shook it off and here we are.

If this Out of Depth Dad can get inspiration from anyone, it’s Sam’s mum.

Tomorrow, as they say, is another day. I’ll scale the wall tomorrow… or take a bloody great sledgehammer to it.

Still Sinking…

The Out of Depth Dad

@Outofdepth_dad